FORGIVING

Good day lovelies! It's Friday again and I'm so glad this week is over already... Also, happy new month! welcome to October... Happy Independence celebration Nigeria...

I've been so busy today and I almost forgot to drop something... when I finally remembered, I got into blogger to post one of the many pieces I had saved up in my draft but something kept ringing in my head that I discuss forgiveness and forgiving with you guys... Today, I might be on either extremes, that is, I could either ramble on and on, or I'll be very brief; but either way please forgive me cos I'm only typing this as it drops into my heart.

for·give·ness/ˌfərˈɡivnəs/

noun the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.

for·giv·ing/fərˈɡiviNG/

adjective ready and willing to forgive.

for·give/fərˈɡiv/

verb stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offence, flaw, or mistake.

I think that one of the most difficult challenges we have as humans is forgiveness. Sometimes I joke and say that forgiveness is the second hardest thing to do after saving... it's even harder when you get hurt by family or people dear to us... it's weird that after declaring such undying love, we'll forgive strangers of their offences quicker than we would our family...

As difficult as we say it is forgive, the fact that there was an apology whether sincere or not, even most times softens the heart... there might be an admission of guilt, yeah she's aware she hurt you, he's sorry he wronged you... hard as it is, you can feel better and forgive easily... But of those that are oblivious to the fact that they've

 hurt you? what of those who have for some reasons, probably pride, refused to acknowledge the fact that they hurt you? Do you forgive such people? Yes! Forgive such people and stop waiting for an apology that may never come.

Now I'm not of the school of thought that preaches "Forgive n Forget o", lailai... I do not believe that we actually forget the things people have done to us even after we have forgiven them...

I'm sure someone is murmuring, "if forgiveness is from the heart, then the wrong will be easy to forget", as they read this. But my lovelies, even when the conscious forgets about the wrong done, the subconscious hardly ever forgets. Haven't you noticed that we forget good times and the good things people do for and to us easily? But the bad times and the bad things people have done to us, never. Even when the "hurter" might have long forgotten about it. I don't know why this is like this, I guess we are just wired that way....

Gbam! Gbammer!! Gbammest!!!

You see, when I love, I am all in, heart, soul, mind, body even my craze dey join.... So when I call you friend, I mean it in all its glory and I'll accord all the dues of friendship to you... I don't throw the word sister or brother around a lot, so if I've ever called you sister/ brother, then I meant every letter of the word. Ada once told me, "Esther you "date" your friends. You get into a "relationship" with every individual you call friend which is why you get hurt each and every time they exhibit the characters that make them humans". 

I've had sistaz lie to my face over and over about things that they shouldn't without flinching; I've had sistaz talk shii bout me to people I barely know me and come back smiling like nothing happened; I've had some cases of bad breakups; I've had sistaz "steal" things dear to me, "snatch" my prized possession and dangle them in my face or start unhealthy competitions with me..

Did it hurt? Of course, it did. I'm human after all

Did I forgive them? Yes, I did.

Have I forgotten? Hell! No, I'm wise. I even imagine what revenge will feel like sometimes.

Do I still love them? Yeah sure, I've learnt to love them in a different way so that I don't get hurt again.

Does that make me a bad person? Nope! I don't think so.

I'm sure I've rambled on and off in this piece but I'm sorry and I hope you understand.

In all of this, my point is, forgiveness is key. You need to forgive people no matter how hard it is, to actually feel and experience the love and joy this life has to offer you. I'm not asking you to forget and put yourself back in the position where you'd be vulnerable and they hurt you again. I'm asking you to forgive and let go of the grudge and hate cos it's holding you back.

So till the next time I see you, Stay Beautiful and KEEP FORGIVING.

XOXO