Tuesday, January 27, 2015


Turn up oga bosses and madam bossettes...... it's the first post in the 15-for-15 challenge sooooo sit tight and enjoy

I like to think that I have a lot of things under control; there’s this level of peacefulness that sets in whenever I convince myself that I have it all together. Well, dear diary, here’s my secret confession: NO, I DON’T!!! I do not have anything together at all especially when it comes to embracing my femininity. I have no clue whatsoever as regards being a woman.  Yes, I’m damn scared to admit it or let anyone else know which is why I’m telling you this now. I’m going crazy thinking about the fact that I have no idea at all.
Here are a few things I don’t get:
  • Why I have to suffer for not getting knocked up

Dear Mother Nature, shouldn't you be applauding my ability and thoughtfulness to practice safe sex? Shouldn't you applaud my decision to stay celibate and abstain from sex until I’m ready? I thought all mothers would be proud of their daughters for every month that passes without them getting knocked up, so why aren't you Mother Nature?
Why do you have to make me suffer these terrible cramps, make me feel like a crime scene and almost anemic 5 days every month just because I refused to let Alex in without his gate pass? In fact, since you like to keep records, how about you send me a mail like this;
Dear Esther, you've succeeded in getting out of January without getting knocked up. Good luck in February and keep an eye on Bryce and his gate pass.
I as well as a million other girls would be glad to receive mails like that instead of making me lose blood and sleep.

  • Why I might be needing a man to validate me.

Okay, so this gets me at confused.com all the time. One minute, mother is telling me to get empowered, make us some moneym start my masters’ degree and have so many titles like her; next minute she’s berating me for not having a boy to call at night to say “I love you” to, and how my blind ambitions are chasing the men away.
WTAF??? What exactly am I to do? Sit at home, get dressed, look good for the men to notice, and then they toast me and give me the ring? Is that what my life as a woman is about? I seriously don’t get anything about this.

  • Looking good; or should I say attractive.

Yeah I know, “looking good is good business”, I’ve heard that phrase too many controversial times that I honestly don’t know what it means anymore.
On Sunday, Mother& I had a big row as regards this, I had to storm out of her room and lock myself in to hold down the rage. Anyone who knows mother, knows she’s a fashionista, a fashion and beauty fanatic; knows and gets all the latest trends. At her age, she just concluded makeup classes from one of the biggest makeup houses in Asaba, and my dad is quite the male version of her with his worry about labels and all (I like to think they’re actually vain); so I guess it’s quite weird to have a semi tomboy as their first daughter.
In my books, when I stand in front of the mirror, if the image that stares back at me looks lovely enough to me, then I’m out of the house. But in my Mother’s books, when you look at the mirror the first question on your lips should be; How will I look to people? Or will I get a man in this getup?
I thought we are supposed to look good for our own good; like isn't looking good supposed to make you feel better, so how then did someone else’s feelings get involved with the image in my mirror? I mean, these boys wake up, get dresses and then say to the image in the mirror; “Ol boy, you make sense o!” why then can’t I say the same to my image and leave it at that? Why do I have to include another person’s questions and put the image on edge?

So dear diary, these are a few things that have me at confused.com! Am I reading too much meaning into everything or am I right to feel this way?

P.S: I still haven't found any bottle coke with my name on it o. Well, I saw two; one had Share a Coke with Ada and the other had Share a coke with Nne. Since y'all know that I'm the Ada in my father's house and the short form of Nnedinma is Nne, I guess that qualifies me to own those bottles. All I'm saying is that, if you see any bottle with Share a Coke with Esther written on it, YOU MUST SEND THE BOTTLE AND ITS CONTENTS TO ME!!!!!! If you drink it then you've stolen *inserts straight face smiley*


  1. A lil part of me wishes I could relate. But what's not to love in being a guy? *HugeGrin* ...Carpe diem chica!

    1. I'm pretty sure there are a thousand and one things not to love about being a guy..... Mr Spanish-speaking Anonymous

  2. Esther this is a real heart stopping womanly post, I have super loved it. I found peace with my P. The make up thing--for me its all about how I feel most times;- I have got such a strong will for oneself no matter how much you jinx my look; you die with it.
    PS. Thanks for the great post on my ririzmusings.blogspot.com

  3. Great start girl! I loveeeeeit, keep them coming...I never knew about the semi-tomboy part though*laughs* I should share my 'before' and 'now' pictures to you, come see transformation from tomboy to girlie girl.
    Me, I dress and make up to look good for MYSELF but I would also be lying if I say I don't consider what certain "A" or "B" would tthink sometimes. Men these days don't want to be saddled with unnecessary responsibilities o, they would rather have a made woman so whoever is idle and waiting is on the longest thing. Life shouldn't stop because a lady is wanting to be hooked, keep busy!

  4. I am sure my mother probably secretly wonders who she offended in her past life to have daughters who don't bother with make up.

  5. Nne if you for one second think those monthly stings you feel are painful, wait till you're in labour... make I leave am there.
    Btw I way I looove your mum jare, upwardly mobile mama you should be like her :d

  6. Smiles... I have to apologize to you before dropping a comment. You see ehn Esther, I read your blog, if I show you my phone and you see the number of blogs I opened a tab for, fear go catch you. I have over 25 blogs that I stalk but I'm too lazy to comment. I promise to try and drop a comment whenever i read your post. Hope I'm forgiven?

    To the post, its a good start dearie. I love this post and yes, I can relate to it. I'm very sure you will do well in the 15 for 15 challenge.

  7. I like this #DearDairy post. But I can't relate to the post cos i haven't experienced any. (I'm male)lol


  8. Hmm, this is superb! Esthy buh am more concerned about the coke oooo, i know I didn't steal ya Coke all I did was ask for a coke and they gave me the one with your name on it.

    I hope u have forgiven me?

  9. I'm with u on dat cramps stuff. It really hasn't been fair.

    Kindly visit; http://pamscrib.blogspot.com

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  12. I can totally relate with the cramps one and I agree on the dress to make you feel good even though sometimes we compromise and conform. Enjoyed reading the post babe anticipating the next one.

  13. Wow!!!!...mami...I love this topic...I mean I can relate to this post.....buh everywhere I turn lately I see the 15 by 15 post...Tibs lah confused.com mehn..

  14. Azzzzz in I can relate with the post. We look good in other to look good. Its not always for you to get noticed though you don't wanna be caught offguard lol

    Marry Poppings is another thing we have to deal with geez so hard being a woman

  15. Nice one dear. You should dress for yourself. As for the coke thing, if I see the one with Esther I would send you the empty bottle o....sorry I am a coke addict.....lol


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  26. Refused to let Alex in with his gate pass hilarious!
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