Hello.... hello.... hello my lovely lovelies..... the aaaahhhhs in my shoki..... Welcome to SERIES TUESDAY.......
Today, we'll be discussing INSECURITY..... I did a brief post on Insecurity here..... Oya stop reading and gaan read it first then come back.....
Shey you're back eh, oya sit down, read, comment, share, learn, and most importantly enjoy.
From our previous discussions on jealousy, we were able to
establish that jealousy more often times than not, is as a result of
insecurity. Insecurity could be as a result of low self esteem, lack of
confidence or sometimes, overconfidence.
For instance, you believe you’re the best at say customer
service in your workplace, and then a newbie who probably is just as good as
you or even better, joins the company and becomes everyone’s favorite. It is
possible that he isn’t aware of the friction he might be causing, but you in
all of your overconfidence will see him as a threat, and your insecurities of
being overthrown make you act out, you could become a bully or begin to bad
mouth him and a whole lot of other crazy things
We all deal with insecurity at some point or another; it’s a
natural way to try and gauge our every actions. I would like us to all know
that we all have insecurities. We all have areas in our lives in which we aren’t
100% confident or perfect, it’s part of our existence.
I, for example, have mad insecurities about my booblessness. It’s
so bad that I walk around in my nighties with a bra on until I’m in my room,
and by bra, I mean really really padded bra. I remember back then in secondary
school when my mates started growing seeds in their breasts and I couldn’t feel
anything in mine, I was as flat as a slate, then they moved on to wearing bras
and I was stuck on jumpers. I became so embarrassed about it that I went and
bought a bra with my pocket money and I’d stuff it with my socks before wearing
it so that people will think I had boobs too. Another thing I’m probably
insecure about would be my drawings….. Lawd Gawd….. those things are awful!!!! As
in I can’t draw to save my own life. Recently on TTT, we had an art competition
of the sort, I couldn’t participate cos I mean, my drawing is even worse than
Tibs rendition of Amazing Grace.
In my opinion, insecurities are just pronouncements of fear. Fear
of the judgments of others; fear of the arbitrary thoughts others might think
and feel about us. Insecurity is simply our reaction to one of the only things
we have absolutely no control over, and that is the way other people think
about us and perceive us and judge us.
So, for the purpose of this post, I went to my best friend
Google to help me with the types of insecure people we have. He gave me these
5;
- Those
who wrap themselves in positivity and pretend they have no insecurities: You
see the thing about these people, they live in denial as we discussed here. Most
of us do not want to be perceived as negative people but the truth is that, the
moment you begin to lie to yourself about things that you ought not to, you
have become a negative person. These people I’ll like to call PERMA-POSITIVE,
have the “nothing can ever get me down
cos I’m in charge of my destiny and my own happiness, therefore there’s no room
for insecurities in my life” talk to give all the time. Take for example
someone who is scared of heights and just because everybody is going skydiving,
he quotes PHIL 4:13; I CAN DO ALL THINGS
THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGHTENS ME and joins them then probably has a panic
attack and something bad happens to him up there. That wasn’t an optimistic or
positive person, he was just plain stupid. What happened to baby steps?
- Those
who verbally and constantly doubt themselves and put themselves down: these set
of people are called NEGATIVITY. They’re the reasons the first set of people
live in denial cos they don’t want to be like them. These set of people in
their own eyes have no good attribute or talents or gifts or nothing, they can
do no good in their own sights. Most of the time, they’re quiet until they’re
called upon to perform a task, then they begin to tell the world all the things
they suck at, all the talents they don’t seem to have and throw a grandiose pity
party over it. We definitely have been around people like this at different
points in our lives. Working with people like these is very tiring, cos you
probably have to carry 90% of the workload, as well as try your possible best
not to make them feel bad about themselves while you want to celebrate your
achievements.
- Those
who tackle their insecurities with humor: I pretty much fall into this category
maybe cos I’m quite shameless and by the help of God I’ve come to realize it’s
who I am. But I had a post on my insecurities and how I worked through them here, and I realized I became a comedian just to get people to back off from
the things I worried about the most. Right now, I’m the first one to make a
joke about how small my boobs are or how large my eyes are, so that you don’t
bother thinking “oh…. I can make her sad
by criticizing her drawings” or anything of the sort. It’s like when we
tell Ada, ”Nigger, your nose is too large”
and she be like, “it helps me smell
bullshit from a long distance” now that’s humor.
- Those
who make up all sorts of fabulous stories and tales about themselves that aren't true: these people are pathological liars, they don’t even know when these lies
come out, all them LIANUS MBA. Bring up a story from your vacation in Cotonu,
and they’ll spring up one fancy story about their trip to the Bahamas. I know a
guy like this, the guy dey lie ehnnnnn, even his brothers used to tell us that
if he greets us good morning, we have to check the clock or go outside to be
sure that it’s actually morning before we can answer him. The incessant,
unnecessary lying on its own is an insecurity sef without their knowledge.
- Those who act out of insecurity to try and cover
it up: these are the hardest type of insecure people to spot cos they sometimes
don’t know it, and the ones who do will deny it immediately. Most jealous
people that act on their jealousy fall under this category. People like this
when in relationships, and then they suddenly have this nudge that their
partner is cheating (and they always do have this nudge), act out on their
insecurity by either starting a cold war with their partner, or calling them
out, or the crazy ones that actually cause bodily harms to their partners or
the suspected third party in their “nudges”. There’s this channel I stumbled on
some time ago that shows crimes and how they’re solved, some of the crimes they
called CRIMES OF PASSION or so, were perpertrated by people in this category. My
friend who I described in my post on HeyNaija also falls in this category.
............to be continued..............
So my lovelies, what are your insecurities? How have you been able to work through them so far?
Till the next time I see you, Stay Handsome and Beautiful
XOXO
