Tuesday, February 17, 2015

#SERIES& DISCUSSION// ABUSE



I promised y’all that I would only write what I know or I’m conscious of, and I’m pretty sure I’ve kept that promise well enough.
Well, for Series Tuesday we’re launching a discussion series on ABUSE because it’s the most discussed issue and yet it still remains a hazard.
Abuse is something majority of us do not give second thoughts to, probably cos they haven’t been victims, or because they are unaware of what abuse really is. So I took my time to read up, do a lot of researches on the matter so I won’t stop halfway. Peradventure you come across some signs that you’ve noticed in a friend, lover, family member, or you noticed in someone in a relationship with your friend, I think you should take note of the things we would talk about here so you can bring it to their notices. So LEGGO……
Abuse is defined as any action that intentionally harms or injures another person. Abuse also encompasses inappropriate use of any substance, especially those that alter consciousness .e.g. alcohol, cocaine, etc.  Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, or a combination of any or all of these as well as neglect.
Abuse in relationships occurs when either of the partners tries to dominate or control the other person by use of abusive and/or coercive behaviours. Abuse in relationships can be sexual, physical, emotional, or financial. If not contained early enough, abuse in relationships will tend to escalate over time. If you’re sitting there, thinking that physical abuse is the only thing that can get you thinking about your relationship, then you’re wrong. Rome was not built in a day, so your partner will not control or dominate you in a day. Abuse is a process and it all starts with small details, so if you don’t stand up for yourself when the abuse is in small details, then it will get worse and it might be too late before you realize that the abuse is now at a dangerous level.
When you’re in an abusive relationship, the most common thing that you’ll start hoping for is that things will get better  in the future. This is especially true when you think you really love the abusive partner. You should however realize that you deserve to be loved and treated with respect and not emotionally or physically harmed. It is true you love him/her but that does not mean you allow yourself be constantly degraded and belittled.
You’ve got to love yourself first before you love someone else; you have to love yourself enough for you to understand when someone loves you. For the sake of relationships, it is important to tell your partner to stop with the abuse, if he/she doesn’t change, then the best option on the table is to terminate the relationship.

Remember one man’s poison is another man’s treasure, there’s someone out ther dying to have you and treat you with the respect you deserve. If you just stick around when you’re being abused, you are definitely encouraging your partner to continue with the abuse.
N.B: By relationships, I mean parent-child, siblings and friendships, not necessarily intimate relationships, although it applies in all cases
So my lovelies, we’ll call it a post at this point.... From next week, we'll begin to discuss the various forms of abuse, especially the ones we've neglected or not taken note of...... 
P.S: Please my lovelies.... for the purpose of these series, I'd ask that if you've been through any form of abuse at any point in your life please don't hesitate to share your experiences and how you broke free..... For privacy sakes, you could send in a mail to esthernwaomu@gmail.com  or make use of the contact form below and I'll post your story here as anonymous...... we all need to learn. Thank you
P.P.S: We're almost at our 100th post and I thought I'd do something different, but it has to be what you people decide...... So drop your comments and let me know what you would want me to do for our 100th post. By our 99th post, I'd list the suggestions I've gotten and let you know which I'd be doing......
Till I see you again.... Stay Beautiful, Handsome and SAY NO TO ABUSE
PEACE, LOVE& CHOCOLATES
XOXO

10 comments:

  1. I will want a give away hehhehhehhe.. just joking
    Do a post telling us about yourself like random things we don't know about you.
    Better still do a fashion post joo lol
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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  2. Erhmmmm... for your 100th post, please do a give away but call me 1st so I can get here before anybody and win the giveaway...hehehe.
    To the topic, everyone has been through some sort of abuse at some point...verbal, physical and even emotional. The emotional abuse I went through, I don't pray it for my worst enemy but thank God for God sha. Its not easy to move on but its worth it..

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  3. I have been in one abusive relationship before,it wasn't easy,but I had to just let go even when I let go,he threatened my life eehn!thank God for God's intervention. If not I would have been a forgotten issue.

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    1. Eyaaaaa thank God that abusive relationship ended nne - I can imagine!

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  4. **waves** Hiya mami....Its been a while eh...How are you doing mami...Erhmmm...in a very weird way, I think every lady has been abused in some way...I have been physically, verbally, emotionally and mentally abused and I can tell you that the worst is the mental abuse. There is nothing worse than your own mind fucking with you. It is messy and scary. I tell everyone I know this - Once you feel abused in the least way, CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY!!! Don't give out the impression that it is okay cuz the moment you do, It will become a norm for the person abusing you and for you too as the person being abused....

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  5. Do a give away babes... Uh, abuse?? Hmmmm. It is well

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  6. Hiya dearie, I nominated you for the versatile award, here's the link to my blog

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  7. Hmmmnmnn.. **In My Waffi accent.. Now this Abuse thing is not a small soNthing oh! I mean its really deep and I hate to say it, it has almost become a way of life both in dating and family life.. Do i support it?! Hell to the NO! Am i above mistakes and might or will probably indulge in it?! Hell to the yeah! The thing is through my confused eyes yeah, life is rather uncanny atimes, but I do believe that like for the law of Nature there is most times an opposing action for every reaction.. In Erniesha's voice.. lets talk..

    Lets talk Physical Abuse for instance cause its most pre-dominant.. A guy doesnt just wake up and hit a woman, he is most times PROVOKED to do so.. and by all standing the provocation is most often the fault of the woman (I stand to be corrected though).. so to the ladies i say do learn to handle your words like Eggs cause my god mother once said that once an egg is broken, it can be stitched back togera.. To the guy who hit a woman I say; real men dont hit women with their fist, they heal them with their hearts Women need to be loved.. Why dont guys just gerrit, if you cant fucking love her, then stay the hell away dassaall **deep sigh.. All in all yeah, in this my 23 years 3 months and 13 days of existence, i am coming to believe that happiness should be top priority all time everytime, so if he or she abuses you hence making you unhappy, then by all means RAW (Run A Way)

    Cheers Bubba, this was such an insightful and thought provoking read.. and the crowd goes yeeeeaaahh mehn! :) Did i hear the winds say Turn down?! Mehn Turn down for what biko?! On Esther Koko's Blog, we only Turn up with style jo :)

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  8. Abuse is a very sensitive matter treated in an insensitive manner in this part of the world. I hope this post gives those who are been abused in their relationships the confidence to voice out.





















    #Mannie

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I appreciate all your lovely comments....... Don't leave without dropping a word

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