Good morning my neighbours *in Eddie Murphy's voice*. I can see your cutlasses are sharpened and I can hear Funmi Reese screaming like Spartacus, "off with her head". I know I've AWOL,not stalking and commenting on people's blogs, no adverts Wednesday, no rants Thursday, nothing since, but I'm truly very really sincerely sorry, the devil struck ni o.
On Friday, I was down with menstrual cramps and I thought, "Oh! Is it not ordinary MP, after 6 caps of felvin, it shall be a thing of the past". Then on Sunday, I was fine and ready to take on anything so I hung out with my cuz & her fiancee at the beach for their pre-wedding photo shoot when I had the most severe asthma attacks ever, from there I heard malaria was in my body o, so I started swallowing drugs like no man biz. But you see this God that I serve, he ain't a play play God o... when the devil was dropping it in my head that I had Ebola (don't laugh, this na serious matter o), God kept telling me, "No my daughter, Yaa not dying yet! you have so many things left to do, there are more blogs I'm bringing your way to stalk, there are still celebrities you haven't stalked. Rise up and be fit". So here I am o, my peoples, hale and hearty, but I lost weight ehnnnn
While I was away, Yours Truly clocked One and my very own Mobylistic Moby hit her 100th post, my sweet Mamacita Tibs was down with fever... Congratulations o!! Yours Truly and Moby, more posts to your elbows o!! Tibs please get well fast enough, I miss your bazooka already o.
BUSINESS OF THE DAY
While I was away, Tibs and Moby gave me this award o! The sisterhood hehehehehe!!! The rules of the award are:
- Acknowledge the awardee... Done
- Put up the picture of the award... Done
- Answer the questions asked by the awardee
- Nominate 5 female bloggers
Growing up, I had issues with the size of my eyes, my complexion and my tiny size. You know how mean children can be when teasing each other, I was no exception anyway. They would either call me Eyezkomgba or Ojuyobo or Segun Arinze's daughter cos of my eyes. Then others would sing after me, afin oo'je iyo meaning albinos don't eat salt. Then I just needed to say or do something wrong and the taunts would begin. By the time I was in Pry 6, my mouth was sharper and my Yoruba was getting fluent so I could reply insults for insults. So I started to tell them that Regina Askia was paying millions to get cat eyes like mine, I then started adding Sexy Eyes to my names whenever I was asked. As for my complexion, I told them it was cos my father had white ancestors hahahahaha. On getting to secondary school, they used to call me Thingono cos of my tiny arms, I told anyone who cared to listen that I wanted to be a model in future so I needed to keep trim. I owned it, didn't I?
Rejection... Rejection... Rejection! I can't remember having a coping mechanism for rejection. I just moved on to the next one, no time spent brewing on anything. Tibs sorry oooo!!!
allow allow allow allow allow
Okay! Time for my nominations... Tibs nominated all the people I would have nominated, and most of the others from previous other nominations never take them up. For that reason, I am nominating you! Yes you! If you are reading this, you've been nominated. The challenge is that you tell me/ us about a part of your body or a character you had issues coming to terms with. Do that in the comments section.
Now in conclusion, I realised I don't have any males comments here o! Where my male fans at? Please don't just grunt around here and read posts silently then nod and go. Please read and comment!!!. Also, the pro bono adverts is coming to an end next week, so if you want to advertise with us after that, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org, let's discuss. We are also including the rants section, so if there's anything you need to complain about, your boss, girlfriends or boyfriends, the traffic, PHCN, anything at all, write it out and send to email@example.com and we'll publish it on #RANTS THURSDAY. Finally, we are including the series and fiction sections next month, so keep your fingers crossed.
Until I see you next week, stay beautiful!!!