Good day o lovely readers of The Way Esther Sees It…… it’s weekend again and I’m sure everyone is as delighted as I am….. what y’all up to today? Any parties, owambes, etc?
Meanwhile, it’s been a while I heard from Moby o…. been trying her number but she’s not been picking….. please if you reach her tell her that her partner-in-craze misses her o.
Well, during the week, Duru used this picture and talked extensively about African parents and their methods of “slavery” and I tried to dismiss it. But on Wednesday, I had my own dose of it.
I came back after a long ass day, writhing with menstrual cramps from satan the devil, I could hardly stand straight sef. I got into the house, and the following conversation ensued between my mum and I;
Mother: Esther, what is wrong with you?
Me: Mummy, my enemies are at it with this curse of menstrual cramps o.
I sobbed a lil here
Mother: Eiya…. Ndo….. Oya enter inside, take your bath with warm water then take felvin or paracetamol and then rest.
Me: Okay mummy. Thank you.
I got in, did as instructed and then got into bed to rest as INSTRUCTED. 10mins later, I heard her calling my name.
I answered in my tiniest and weakest voice
Me: Maaaaaa but I didn’t get up from bed
WTF could she possibly want from me this time? I thought she asked me to rest
Me: Yes mummy…….
This time she screamed the loudest
Mother: Abeg do and go and pound the banga I bought o
Huh! I thought she asked me to rest…. How did pounding banga become a form of resting biko?
Me: But mummy….. mummy but I’m tired and my waist is paining me.
Mother: well, you can choose to do it now or first thing tomorrow morning because I want to cook and leave this house before 8am.
OMG! What happened to resting again? On the bright side, she’d cook my best soup just the way I like it so I’d just wake up as early as 5am and get the pounding out of the way.
I woke up the next morning and began to carry out my daughterly duties as good as I could and then she called;
Why is she even awake at this time?
Me: Yes mummy
Mother: Abeg pound small pepper and onions for me when you’re done with the banga.
Me: But mummy what has fresh pepper got to do with banga soup?
Mother: Who says I’m cooking banga soup? I want to cook jollof banga rice and beans
Me: Wait!!!! Mummy you mean I’m slaving for just one meal?
Mother: Who says it’s one meal? We can’t finish everything this morning now… you’ll eat the rest later in the evening. If it doesn’t finish then, that means it will enter the fridge and that’s meal for other days…. So you see?
Me: Okay…. So it’s not bad enough that I have to pound banga this early morning…. Why do I have to start pounding pepper and onions na?
Mother: Abeg shut up your smelling mouth there and pound for me biko!!!!! No be your hand my blender for spoil? You don gree buy another one for me?
Immediately those songs they sing in nollywood when the wicked madam is maltreating the maid starts to play in my head…..
Please how is this not slavery?
On Friday morning, I woke up to get dressed for the day and saw bitter kola peels and tom-tom wrappers everywhere around where mumc sat the previous night. She’s been having these severe coughing spree that has defied antibiotics, so she has taken bitter kola and tom-tom as her new diet.
Mother: Gideon pikin…. Wetin?
Me: Mummy why is there bitter kola peels and tomtom wrappers everywhere here?
Mother: because I threw them there na
Me: I know you threw them there…. Why
Mother: so that you will sweep the sitting room na and not give me the excuse that it’s only adults in the house so it’s not dirty.
Me: but mummy…. There was the black cellophane you bought the things in why didn’t you just throw these things inside?
Mother: Because I’m not barren…. I have children that can sweep so I can throw dirts wherever I want
Please remind me of how this isn’t slavery again…….
P.S: Tuesday’s post; THE GREED GAME, was a game and only 2 guys were able to prove they weren’t part of the greedy bunch. So Mannie, Eddie, Chioma, Lohla and Sophia please send me a mail containing your mobile numbers so I can send your top ups… thank you. Ernie and Obiamaka, how will we work out our own now?
P.P.S: If you haven’t voted this blog for Best New Blog 2014 please follow this link and do that
P.P.P.S: 1st and 3rd to comment get airtime topups…. So in your comments, include your network provider
PEACE, LOVE& CHOCOLATES