Thursday, July 31, 2014


Good day lovelies!!! How's the week been? Thank the good Lord it's Friday already.
Before I tell you guys anything, I have to inform you all that I'm not an activist of whatsoever cause and I do not belong to any activism group either.

Feminism is a doctrine which advocates total equality between men and women in all areas of life. A Feminist is therefore, an advocate of feminism, one who supports total equality between men and women in all areas of life. Masochism is the gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc. , inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the action of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification. A Masochist is therefore, a person who finds pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc. While these two terms are not necessarily contrasting, they help to buttress what I want to share today.
My friend, Olivia's BBM status once read, "In my opinion, a woman always has two choices." So I asked her what she meant and why she thought so. She told me that a woman always has the choice to be or not; to be used or not; to do or not; to be needed or to need.
After our discussion, I continued to wonder about a lot of things until I stumbled on some articles on gender equality so I got interested and I thought you guys should know some of the things I learnt.
I've been opportune to live with, befriend and meet a lot of girls, ladies and women and I know (being a woman as well) that women make a million choices everyday. These choices vary from what to wear, buy, what colour of lipstick to wear, who to speak to, what guy to give the wrong number to, and a whole lot of other choices. The choices to be or not; to be used or not; to do or not; to be needed or to need are therefore choices every woman makes everyday.
To the best of my biblical knowledge, Ephesians 5:22-24, says, "wives be submissive to your husbands" (my paraphrase) not subject yourselves to endless pain and abuse. I know some people are wondering if I'm alright in the head, cos their grandmothers from 5 generations back told them its okay to be beaten. But the truth is this, the choice to be abused is yours to make whether you like it or not (that's gist for another post sha). Our people have a saying, "The name you call yourself is what people will call you as well". This is as simple as it could ever be.
If you take your stand, take care of yourself by yourself for yourself, and make it known to whoever cares to know that you won't be used or abused, nobody will dare to (they never born the person well). But when you take up the mentality that you deserve whatever comes your way (as the masochist likes to think), and subject yourself to abuse and pain from the men in your life, and wallow in self-pity, then the message you are sending to every Tom, Dick and Harry is this; "Help! I don't know what to do with myself! So I want you to come and do with me as you please!" Trust me, they'll jump at that opportunity like their lives depend on it.
Everyday, we hear and read of wives and girlfriends being battered and abused by their partners. From my POV, 75% of those women put themselves in these positions. Something I've learnt from having a lot of male friends is that they follow the leads and signals we give them, whatever these leads are. So when they meet "the feminist", a woman who takes her stand on what she believes and knows what she wants, deserves and knows her entitlements, or when they meet "the masochist", who doesn't know who she is and what she's worth, they know how to act around both of them. Which is why you'll be surprised that a guy who turned your friend into a punching bag and abused her on the daily while they dated, would date some other girl, treat her like a queen and never one day raise his hand to hit her. All na packaging.
Need I say that a woman need not be rich or wealthy, beautiful, hot or whatever to take her stand? In my opinion, the greatest assets any woman can possess are her mindset and mentality.
So my lovelies, that's just The Way Esther Sees It again. But then, what's your take on it all?


I appreciate all your lovely comments....... Don't leave without dropping a word

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