Hello my lovely lovelies.... All my Oga Bosses and Madam Bossettes how una dey? How's xmas shopping and prepping going down? Anyone needs my help with spending THEIR money? Just holla o.....
Meanwhile, I hope you all like the Christmassy look the blog has taken..... I had to find more ways to wish you my lovely, darling readers a wonderful Christmas celebration.
Today, we'll continue our SERIES TUESDAY discussion on INSECURITY [click here if you missed the first part] and we'll be pointing out the signs of insecurity..... So sit tight, read, comment, share, learn, and most importantly, enjoy.
Below are some signs to tell when
someone is acting out of insecurity;
1) The need to be a control freak;
The need
to control can definitely stem from fear (as we discussed here and fear often
goes hand in hand with insecurity. Therefore, if your friend or partner always
wants to be in control of where you guys eat, what you wear, who you talk to
and hang out with, that right there is an insecure person.
2) Overly Selfish;
An insecure
person tries to surround himself with possessions, accolades, and attention. Abundance
makes him secure and feel protected. When he has got many”friends” and has a
lot of money to support his life, he feels like nothing can get him. It’s
obviously the wrong type of security cos it's dependent on external factors.
3) Needing Approval;
The need
for constant reassurance in a relationship is a sign of insecurity. IMO, I don’t
see a reason why you need to ask your boyfriend if he loves 12 times a day. If your
partner is insecure about herself, she will probably need approval and
reassurance all the time. She will always want to know if you like her hair,
clothes or her appearance in general. I have a cousin who cannot leave the
house without asking everyone’s opinion about her dress. She wakes up by 3am to
prepare for work and then she wakes me up by that time to be asking “how do I look?”, at first I didn’t see
anything bad about it until I noticed that even when she’s wearing hairnet to
go outside the estate to buy something, she will still ask that question. Reassuring
an insecure person isn’t going to make them secure unless they seek help first.
4) Overtly accommodating;
Validation
is what insecure people covet all the time. They go out of their way to get
appreciation, fish for compliments all the time, they want to be accepted by
everyone all the time and feel secure. If someone is indifferent to them or doesn’t
give them the approval, then they get stuck on the idea of winning the person
over or label the person as the enemy. For this reason, they would take any
form of crap from anybody as long as the person is constantly “stroking their
egos”.
5) Showing Jealousy;
An insecure
partner or friend becomes jealous of the things you do or achieve apart from
him/her. He becomes jealous of the time you spend with other people. When for
example, you get a promotion at work, she complains it will mean time away from
her. Instead of coming to terms with the fact that you both have other friends,
he becomes angry and jealous if you choose to spend time with others. Everyone deals
with jealousy at some point, but if your partner is constantly jealous of your
achievements, activities and friendships, this is a sign that she may be
dealing with a serious case of insecurity.
6) Inability to Handle Criticism and
Overly Defensive;
They are
not comfortable with their own self. When someone constructively criticizes
them, they take it as an attack on themselves. They have the tendency to take
everything personally. For example, when your colleague does an unsatisfactory
job and you point it out (constructively), if the person is an insecure person,
what she hears is, You’re stupid, you’re
dull, you can’t do anything right. Even if the criticism isn’t directly on
things involving them, they take it on themselves. It is very difficult to hold
a constructive conversation with an insecure person.
7) Smothering You;
She wants
to be with you all the time even when you’re doing something she has no
interest in. he becomes possessive and tries to control your activities and
whereabouts. She wants to know where you are at every minute of the day, calls
and texts you every minute of the day. He complains when you want to do
something without him. That’s insecurity there. Some of us might mistake it for
love or caring or mushiness but trust me, love isn’t insecure, neither does it
smother you.
8) Distrusting Others;
Insecure
people sometimes become distrustful- even if you’re doing all you can to
reassure them. This can manifest as criticism towards your family and friends.
9) Overly Authoritative and Bullying;
Insecure
people are threatened by others most of the time and therefore they bully
others to crush their opinions. They are either very competitive in nature or
suck up very easily to the people who are in authority. They tend to be overly
authoritative as they tend to compensate for their lack of confidence by taking
out their frustrations on their subordinates. They feel more powerful in other
people’s docility for them.
10)
Overly
Sexual;
The overly
sexual behavior also portrays insecurity as the
person treats his/her sexuality as a crutch to get other’s attention. For
them, sex is just another way to win and prove their worth.
.........to be continued.........
So my lovelies, what other signs other than those above have you noticed in an insecure person? Please, do tell.....
Till I see you next time, Stay Handsome, Beautiful and CONFIDENT
XOXO
hey babe....
ReplyDeletei almost wrote on insecurity today.
Mehn... lemme just keep my pen cos uv already written everything.
nice piece dear.
Hmmnnnn Esther Koko that number 10 is not a small something oooooo heheheheheh.. okay lemme just add that i believe that insecurity is not a problem, but something that needs to be outgrown. Think about it Bubba, at various levels of life, we were all insecure about something, in SS3 most ladies were insecure cause they wanted to look preety and ghen ghen in the sight of their male friends, we guys were insecure with our first loves, and the list goes on Baby mi. I believe that all through our life, we all MUST be insecure about a certain area of our life, but this fades with maturity, as in time we come to terms with who we are and what we are becoming. I am learning Bubba, to grow, and with growth, i subconciously notice my insecurities fading.
ReplyDeleteIn other news Baby mi, i do not quite accept Point 7 ooooo... while i was in love with Wajilda, we checked on each other 247, and maybe it looked like me being insecure, but what i know for sure is that it was more of fondness than insecurity. Complements of the season Bubba, i am loving the christmas feel that comes with your Blog oooo, it makes this place as beautiful as her Author. P.S: we want Christmas give away nah Baby mi, come ooooonnnnn...
oh yes i want a give away lol so i can win.
Deletefashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com
My friend used to date an insecured marafucka.... I hated their relationship ehn kai. How are you swit heart
ReplyDeleteA very Merry Christmas to you my friend; wishing you all of God's blessings too.
ReplyDelete