Good morning my lovelies!!!! Thank God it's Friday, so I can rest my weary bones and catch up on my series. How did your week go?
Sometime in July last year, I got dumped like a sack of rotten tomatoes, and before you go "awwww" , note that this was over a text message o. I felt like an emotional candy bag; every emotion you wanted, I was ready to dish out. I would go from depressed to rage to sadness to hysterical laughter and then tears non stop in a blink of the eye. There were days I would lock myself up in the toilet and bawl my eyes out for hours. In all of these, one thing I kept saying to myself and whoever I spoke to about it was; "I need to talk to him.. I want to make sure the relationship is really over... I can only be sure that there's no hope for rekindling it when I talk to him... Closure will help me stop hanging, spinning and imagining all the what-ifs" Because I felt I needed closure, I kept in contact; because I kept in contact, I was reeling in depression every time I heard his voice or saw his picture on Instagram. Even when I called, and he gave me some stinky attitude, I still held on to the hope that getting closure would give me a sense of resolution or take the emotional baggage I was carrying or help heal the wounds from my broken heart.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago, it's okay to say I had moved on but I still felt I needed closure to forgive a wrong or something, so I started seeking opinions on the subject of closure. My cousin said "The world owes you nothing whatsoever... The world doesn't owe you audience, so if there's something you need to say to anybody, say it to yourself and move on". My friend didn't get the point of the whole drama and as she put it, "We've broken up, we don't intend to get back together, so what's the point of opening old wounds?"
I took their advice, and did all the talking I needed to do to myself and somehow I found out that I didn't need to talk to anybody about anything to feel freer, I didn't need to ask anybody any questions like I thought, to get any weight off my shoulders, there was no need to have a public apology tendered or have to publicly announce I had forgiven anybody. I finally realized that I didn't want to be ignored, or lied to or led on, all in the name of closure, so I bounced.
It wasn't easy though, finally taking responsibilities for a few things I had made myself believe I was the victim for, or cutting off contacts, or even forgiving without getting an apology, but it was definitely worth it.
P.S: When I started this post a few months back, it was a "pro-closure" post. I had done a long ass research on why everybody needed closure after every breakup. I was going to come and preach and convert y'all and make you call your exes from kindergaten and sing HELLO. I'm not anti-closure, but it actually isn't necessary.... All the band aids you need to heal lies with you.
What's your take on closure? Necessary or Never mind?
PEACE, LOVE, CHOCOLATES& CLOSURE if you like